the treasured tale.

i am just back from a weekend long women's retreat with clearview. boy, God showed up. He came powerfully to around 280 women that have been called to the network of churches that i find myself in. the Lord clearly wanted me on that retreat because it was only by His grace that i was able to go. my sweet friend brian sponsored me to go. 100%. he graciously wrote a check in my name to be able to spend a weekend away with the Lord and with women in the network. brian is a college student. he's a busser at the restaurant that i serve at. he fears the Lord. his heart beats for Him no matter what. i am still in awe of how he wrote a check with not an ounce of regret, fear, or bitterness.

we road tripped to carlinville, illinois for the weekend for the retreat. we were at the most beautiful camp. it was kind of a cross between camp tecumseh and young life camp. it reminded me of camp tecumseh because of the awesome salad bar, archery, and the bible verses and songs all over the dining hall. it reminded me of young life camp because of the blob, cabin set-up, and the zipline that hit the water.



the title of the retreat was called "the treasured tale". God rocked me at the first session. He spoke through terry as she poured out her heart to us and introduced what my sweet friend tabitha would be sharing with us during the rest of our time. terry began talking about how we are the lead woman of our own fairytale. this is my story between myself and my Maker. terry talked about how often we rely on what the world says is beautiful about a person rather than what our Maker says is beautiful. He wants to be the source of our adoration. terry really drove home that what we see and feel about ourselves is not what He sees. she talked about how our opinions of our beauty prevent us from experiencing the fullness of God. how powerful is that. pretty convicting for me.

God really showed up during prayer ministry following the first session. i presented myself before the Lord in fits of sobs. He was moving in me. without a doubt. a woman came and prayed for me with every ounce of her heart. she prayed john 3:30 over me. he must increase, i must decrease. she prayed that i would see myself rightly and that i would only speak of myself in that way. during the session, i felt God strongly whispering to me to not bring make-up to georgia this summer when i take girls to young life camp. this was terrifying, but i knew it was from Him. this might not be a big deal for some people, but it is a sort of security blanket for me. and hello, there will probably be a lot of cute fellas there. but, she confirmed what God was whispering to me during the session. she also prayed that i would care more about how my insides looked than my outside. this sounds strange, but while she was praying over me, i saw a picture of the wife of the lead pastor at vine community church in carbondale in my mind. strangely enough, it was her who was praying for me. i had my eyes closed before she started praying for me. how cool is God! i had only seen her, but never heard her voice. after prayer, we talked for a bit. i talked to her about being a young life leader and how seeing myself as the Lord sees me is so important as a leader for high school girls. she told me a heartbreaking story of how a college girl that she looked up to that impacted her heart had also brought heartache. this college girl she looked up to tanned a lot. tanning was very important to her. amanda, the woman who prayed over me, explained that she started herself started to tan a lot. she found her worth in it because it was what her leader did. she then explained to me that she now suffered from a few rounds of skin cancer. amanda didn't blame her leader for her cancer, she just continued to tell me how important it was that i saw myself as God sees me. because girls pay attention to girls they look up to.

the second session was lead by tabitha, the wife of one of my pastors. she is such a cool lady. she talked about how we were designed and created to be rescued. we are the princess in the fairytale. we are sought after. she made a point to talk about how important it is to be brought back to what He has rescued us from. i loved when she talked about the qualities of a "princess" or the main character in a romantic comedy. she said around a size 2 or a size 4. perfect hair. perfect teeth. sweet, always smiling. she talked about once the princess or main character had those qualities, then prince charming comes. then he comes and sweeps them off their feet. he pursues them. tabitha explained that the Lord is different. he came after us even though we were dead, dirty, and unworthy. she asked if noah from the notebook or prince charming would want to chase after that. tabitha ended the session explaining that we did nothing to secure our rescue and can do nothing to lose it. once rescued, always rescued.

between the second and third sessions, we went to town. we visited a coffee shop and a couple of cute little stores. made a little pit stop to take pictures with my sweet friend becky.



the third session was on waiting well. tabitha talked about how the Lord calls us to wait well, serving Him with no limits. waiting for the happy ending of our story, which is when we meet Him someday. she talked about how this happy ending doesn't actually end. because we will spend eternity with Him! tabitha took us through four steps of waiting well: believing in Him and believing He's coming back for us, knowing Him, following His commandments and doing His work, and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us. i was challenged to this whole idea of waiting well because i so often find myself distracting myself to get through this life of waiting well. i need to learn to embrace where i am, embrace the season that i'm in.

between the third and fourth sessions, i swam with the girls and had some awesome opportunities for conversation with them. i am so blessed to have girls in my life that fully embrace how much of an odd bird i am and sometimes even partake in my weirdness. they love me for me. just like our Lord loves us. we ended the night just like a group of girls would do. sitting indian style on one bed. pouring out our hearts. our pasts. our presents. and what we feel like God is going to do with us. i learned so much more about my girlfriends that night. there is something so special about getting away from school, schedules, technology, and being at a camp. we definitely retreated well! i loved spending the night in my sweet little bunk bed. i loved waking up and having a final meal around a table of sweet friends.



tabitha ended the retreat with talking about our happy ending. we went through revelation 21:1-7. man, i don't visit revelation enough. no fear, no anxiety, and love in abundance. this is what He has planned for us, folks! He is going to dwell with us. He will wipe away my tears. He will tend my wounds. i will finally be in the presence of the One who created me so strategically and who created the universe.

folks, He loves us. He loves us because He loves us. unconditionally. all the time. no matter what.



# 945: don't trust your memory; write it down.